Self-introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
This is an introductory that will get you to know me better. I am Philbert, currently studying in Singapore Institute of Technology majoring in mechanical engineering. I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a diploma in mechatronic engineering. I believe that my pervious knowledge will help me understand my studies in SIT better and add to my current experience. My interest in engineering was mainly developed when I was doing my designing (AutoCAD and Inventor) and biomedical engineering modules as I believe that elegant and efficient design is imperative for engineering.
My pervious experiences included a trip to Japan for my Overseas Internship Programme. While I was there, my main role was to design and build a social outreach robot. The purpose of the robot was to use artificial intelligence to make life easier for the aging population, and I presented my findings to the Japanese professors and students in Japan. I trip made me to be more independent and outspoken to strangers in a new environment.
One communication strength I have is that I will seek clarification when in doubt. I strongly believe there is mutual understanding when there is effective communication. Therefore, I will not hesitate to clarify my doubts and ensure that I have a full grasp of any situation.
I have also developed my leadership skills and have been the President of Yew Tee Community Club Chinese Orchestra for the past 5 years. I play as a percussionist but have also picked up the foundation of other different instruments. My responsibilities included the creation of budgets for the orchestra's use.
What I wish to gain from your module is related to my communication weakness. When I feel frustrated, there are times when I subconsciously show that I am unhappy through body language. However, these frustrations may cause others to feel as if I am displeased at them when I am only frustrated at the matter.
My first goal for this module is to further improve on my approach when I feel frustrated when doing any form of teamwork. My second goal to further improve on my sentence phrasing, pronunciation and pacing when I am presenting.
My dream is to be able to help others using products I designed or modified and utilise my knowledge skills to inspire and guide others.
Your sincerely,
Philbert Chow
I really like your content, you mentioned that you has developed your interest during poly days and even helped the elderlies in Japan during your overseas internship. It must be a great pleasure for you to go there and create something so meaningful. I hope you can state your 2 specific goals you have for the module as required clearly for others to understand. Overall good job! 👍
ReplyDeleteThank you You Cong for your feedback. Really appreciated it as I neglected one important segment of the module requirement. I have done adjustment to my email including my 2 goals. Do keep feedbacks coming so that I can further improve myself! (Edit done on 8 September)
DeleteI love the part where you include your overseas experiences and also your leadership in the orchestra. However, I feel like you could add your learning experience from your trip and maybe also include the instrument you play which adds another interesting element to your writing. Nice effort!
ReplyDeleteHi Royson, thank you for the feedback. Did some add-ons. (edit done on 10 September)
DeleteHi Philbert, great job on your content, especially on your dreams and aspirations to contribute to the society through engineering. Apart from the suggestions mentioned above, I would suggest moving your paragraph on your leadership skills to the first few paragraphs together with your experiences. Which may help with the flow of your letter. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThank you Zi Hui. You made an important point and I changed the flow of my email. Do let me know if it requires more changes. (Edit done on 10 Sept)
DeleteHi Philbert, great content! It was nice reading your experience overseas and what you did. Hope it was enriching and successful! Additionally, I thought the mentioning of your time in the Chinese Orchestra was an interesting point as well.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I felt that could be addressed, was the sentence regarding your dream. I think the parts, "to help others" and "to help the society" could be combined.
That's all for now, great job!
Hi Issac, thanks for spotting that repetition. Already removed it. Thank you👍🏻 (Edit done on 10 September)
DeleteHi Le Wei,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback.
To be really honest with you, my road in engineering isn't really smooth sailing.
My interest developed mostly because of me being able to do well in AutoCAD related software when it comes to programming and the modules I took when I took biomedical medical engineering as a specialisation semester, I liked the modules as it focus a lot on human anatomy which was what I am interested in.
My dad is an engineer but however that leads me to the slight dislike of engineering. You might be asking why would I be in engineering? I will say it is more of a "no choice" and limited choices since I graduated with an engineering background in polytechnic.
I do have a goal now, our era is all about getting the certificate and I do not want to restrict myself with engineering. I want to help others by being a school teacher or a tutor in private centres. I want to help kids so that they will have a choice to choose when they grow older when they getting into their tertiary education.
Of course, at the end of the day I hope the next 3 years will the rest of you will be fruitful and might possibly changed my mind.
Dear Philbert,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the highly informative letter. It's well organized and richly detailed as you provide ample examples to illustrate the important points you make about yourself.
I'm especially impressed in this post by how you elaborate on the key statements, be those on your interest in engineering, your comm skills ot your experience. The trip to Japan stands out as an amazing learning opportunity, and that you were able to combine the cultural adventure with growth in an understanding of robotics makes it seem even more of an accomplishment.
As a fellow musician, I'm also interested in the role you hold as the leader of a community orchestra. You have certainly portrayed yourself as the consummate renaissance man.
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thank you Professor Blackstone for your nice feedback. I will continue to work hard and learn from you.
DeleteBest regard,
Philbert